so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
