There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
