he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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