it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
