6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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