Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
