Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
