I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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