dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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