Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Can Purell be used as lube?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
