She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
