Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
