i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
