we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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