Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize