Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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