So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
