he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
