I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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