It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
