You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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