I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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