miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
