Umm I'm too high to move.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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