Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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