Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My penis needs a shock collar
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
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