I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
