There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize