well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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