sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
