ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
