just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
