My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize