Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
