so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize