u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You are a genius and a whore.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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