if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
