You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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