Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
