i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
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I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
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This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
did i just pee glitter
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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