I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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