Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
