He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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