dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
