My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I will pee on everything he values.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
