But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
True college students do jello shots in the library
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