I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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