you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
