Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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