Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
