I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You took a bar mat shot.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
