I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.