who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.