I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.