My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.