Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
