Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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