There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
