Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
MIDGETS
????
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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