i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
it hurts more in the daytime
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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