I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just googled if crying burns calories
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
