I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just pee around me
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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