how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
