I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
