i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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