Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm at about main and main street
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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