last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize