Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize