I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
